TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :

1. Um....
2. Wh....
3. Then there's....
4. Maybe....
5. Eh....
6. Sh....
7. But,....
8. Ye....
9. And....
10. Hmmm....

Give them a second chance
1. Oktoberfest.
2. Okotberfest-beer.
3. BMW.
4. VW.
5. Audi.
6. Mercedes.
7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring
you to jail in any other country.
8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by
law (yet).

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A German couple have a baby and name him Claus. As time

goes by Claus grows up and yet never utters a word. After

years of trying to find out what is wrong with him, his

parents just accept that he's mute.

On Claus's 14th birthday he is given a slice of his

favorite cake.

Suddenly, Claus turns to his Mother and says

"Mother zis cake is dry".

Overcome with emotion at his new verbal state his

mother rushes to him and cries,

"Claus, you can speak. Why have you never spoken

before?"

"Well", Claus replies, "up until now, everything has

been satisfactory"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a

short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know

one's gate parking location but how to get there without

any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement

that we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange

between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways

747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after landing:

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird

206 clear of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten morgen! You will taxi to your gate!"

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxi

way and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are

going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking

up our gate location now."

Ground: "Speedbird 206, have you never flown to

Frankfurt before?!?"

Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes, I have, in 1944. In another

type of Boeing, but I didn't stop."

 

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children
about his days in the air force. "In 1942," he says, "the
situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong
air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was
protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds,
these fokkers appeared.

At this point, several of the children giggle.

"I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed
at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately
realized that there was another fokker behind me."

At hearing the pilot go on, the girls in the auditorium
start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands
up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was
the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company"

"That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were
flying Messerschmidts."

--------------------------------------------

When they tried to put Eichmann's life story on TV the only
sponsor they could get was Easy-Off Oven Cleaner!

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

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Germany's creative talents tend to skip a generation.

First, they make a really nice sports car...
Then, they destroy an entire race...
Again, they make a really nice sports car...

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Q: What do you call German kids born in a whorehouse? 

A: Brothel sprouts! 

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"What is the use of running when we are not on the right road." German Proverb

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"Promises are like the full moon: if they are not kept at once they diminish day by day." German proverb

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