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For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag...the pencil! -- Chi Chi Rodriguez

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. -- Jim Murray

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it. -- Ted Ray

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Ed Furgol

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. -- Renee Hicks

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. -- Hank Aaron

I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot. -- Don Adams

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. -- Arnold Palmer

I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. -- Gerald R. Ford 

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