Hunting 

More Sports Humor:

The Deer Hunt

1:00 AM - Alarm clock rings
2:00 AM - Hunting partners arrive...drag you out of bed
2:30 AM - Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup
3:00 AM - Leave for the deep woods
3:15 AM - Drive back home and pick up gun
3:30 AM - Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight
4:00 AM - Set up camp - forgot the darn tent
4:30 AM - Head into the woods
6:05 AM - See eight deer
6:06 AM - Take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07 AM - "Click"
6:08 AM - Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00 AM - Head back to camp
9:00 AM - Still looking for camp
10:00 AM - Realize you don't know where camp is
Noon - Fire gun for help - eat wild berries
12:15 PM - Ran out of bullets - eight deer come back
12:20 PM - Realize you ate poison berries
12:45 PM - Rescued!
12:55 PM - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 PM - Arrive back in camp
3:30 PM - Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 PM - Return to camp for bullets
4:01 PM - Load gun - leave camp again
5:00 PM - Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you
6:00 PM - Arrive at camp...see deer grazing at camp
6:01 PM - Load gun
6:02 PM - Fire gun - hit pickup
6:05 PM - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer
6:06 PM - Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 PM - Fall in fire
6:10 PM - Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire
6:15 PM - Take pickup, leave partner and his deer in woods
6:25 PM - Pickup boils over - hole shot in block
6:26 PM - Start walking
6:30 PM - Stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud
6:35 PM - Meet deer
6:36 PM - Take aim
6:37 PM - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud
6:38 PM - Climb tree
9:00 PM - Deer departs, wrap gun around tree
Midnight - Home at last
Sunday - Watch football on TV, slowly tearing hunting license
into little pieces, place in envelope, and mail to hunting partner
with very precise instructions as to what he can do with it.

~~~~~~~~~~

John came back from a safari in Africa. Upon
arrival, he went to his partner, Mark, and told
him of his adventures.

"I was out in the jungle" he said, "when all of
a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind
me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking
his chops, and smiling at me. The lion started
coming my way and I started running, with the
lion not far behind.

When the lion was almost at my neck, he
suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit. The
lion started gaining on me, and as he got
closer, once again he slipped. I happened
to see a house not far away, and made
towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost
on top of me, when he slipped for a third time.
With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the
house and closed the door in the lion's face."

"That's some story there, John. Hell, I would
have crapped my pants in such danger."

"Mark, Mark, what do you think the lion kept
slipping on..."

+++++++

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.

Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

*+*+*+*+

A duke is hunting in a forest with his men-at-arms and servants when
he comes upon a tree. Archery targets are painted all over it, and
smack in the middle of each is an arrow.

"Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cries the duke. "I must find
him."

After continuing through the forest for a few miles, he comes across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually, the boy admits that
it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asks the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from 100 paces. I swear it by all that I
hold holy."

"That is truly astonishing," says the duke. "I hereby admit you into
my service. But I must ask one favor in return. You must tell me how
you came to be such an outstanding shot."

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I
paint the target around it."

++++++++++

The Game Warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his
hunting license. "This is last year's license," the warden
informed him.

"I know," said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new license,
I am only shooting at the deer I missed last year."

+++++++

There were 3 guys all going hunting: 2 smart ones
and a dumb one.

The first smart guy went out and came back with a
huge grizzly bear. The dumb guy asked him 'How
did you get that huge Grizzly bear?' The smart guy
said, 'I followed the tracks, went in the cave and shot
the bear.'

Then the second smart guy went out and came back
with a huge black bear. The dumb guy asked him,
'How did you get that huge black bear?' The smart guy
said, 'I followed the tracks, went in the cave, and shot
the bear.

So the dumb guy went out and came back all bloody
and cut up. The two smart guys asked, 'What happened
to you?' The dumb guy said, 'I followed the tracks, went
in the cave, and got hit by a train!'

++++++++++

A man takes his wife hunting, and impresses on her again
and again, "If you shoot a deer, don't let someone else
claim that they shot it also and that since they killed
it... it's their deer!"

So ... he's in his stand hardly for 10 minutes when he
hears his wife shooting nearby. He rushes over to her
stand to find her pointing her gun at a man who is loudly
disclaiming... "It's your deer lady..It's your deer...
Just lemme get my saddle off it!!!!"

++++++++++++

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, 
the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. 

He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and 
gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open 
cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. 

The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to 
his friend inside, 

"You skin this one while I go and get another!" 

+++++++++++++++++

An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The 
Doctor asks him how he is feeling.

"I've got an eighteen-year old bride who's pregnant with my
child. What do you think about that?"

The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, 
"Well, let me tell you a story. I know of guy who's an 
avid hunter. He never misses a season.

But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally 
grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking 
in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver 
in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, 
points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM!!!! 
The beaver drops dead in front of him.”

"That's impossible!", says the old man in disbelief, 
"Someone else must have shot that beaver."

The Doctor says, "My point exactly."

**************

A man went to have a tooth pulled, and the dentist said, 
"I will need to give you an anesthetic." 

The man said, "No, I don't need anything. Just pull the tooth." 

The dentist said, "You won't be able to withstand the pain!" 

The man said, "I have been through excruciating pain twice 
in my life. Just pull the tooth." 

The dentist pulled the tooth, and the man didn't even flinch. 

The dentist said, If pain experience left you with that pain 
tolerance, I would like to know about it." 

he man said, "I went on a hunting trip with three other men, 
and we stayed in a cabin. We hunted Monday, Tuesday, 
and Wednesday, and when Thursday came, all were tired 
but me, so I went out by myself. When I got about four 
miles from the cabin, on snow-covered ground, I realized 
I had to 'do my business.' Knowing I couldn't make it back 
to the cabin, I decided to go right there. 

I tucked behind a tree and dropped my pants and squatted 
down to go. I didn't see the trap under the snow cover, 
and when I squatted, my privates dropped in the trap 
and tripped it, and it slammed shut on them." 

The dentist said, "Wow! If that was the first time, when 
was the second experience?" 

The man replied, "When I ran out of chain on the trap." 

++++++++

Ben, a local hunter, went into his favorite bar and ordered 
6 double vodkas. Bob, the bartender said, 
"Wow, you must have had a bad day."

"Yeah", said Ben, "I just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day Ben showed up and again ordered 6 doubles. 

Bob said, "What, more problems."

And Ben replied, "Damn right, I just found out that 
my younger brother is gay."

The third day, the same routine, 6 doubles.

Bob said, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

"Yeah," said Ben, "I just found out my wife does. "

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Two men were hunting in the forest and accidentally 
got lost. They waited for a plane to look for them to 
take them to safety. 

When the plane arrived, one of the hunters said, 
"Shoot three times in the air. That is the distress call." 

So they did, and the plane flew by and didn't stop.

The next day as the plane flew out, they shot three 
times in the air again, but the plane flew on and 
didn't stop. 

On the third day as the plane flew by, one hunter 
said, "O.K. shoot three times."

The other hunter replied, 
"O.K. but we're almost out of arrows!"

++++++++

Steps to trap a polar bear:

Step 1: Find a frozen lake or other body of water.
Step 2: Cut a hole in the ice 3 foot in diameter.
Step 3: Place 12-24 frozen peas around hole
Step 4: Wait until a polar bear goes to take a
pea and then kick him in the icehole.

+++++++

Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north
for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture,
and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to
pick them up.

They started loading their gear into the plane, including the
six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out
only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."

One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let
us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather
conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to
allow us to fly out just like last year.

Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk
aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"

"I think so," replied the other Redneck. "Yep! I think this is about
100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"

+++++++++

Two guys are out hunting. All of a sudden, a bear 
starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but 
the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. 

The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack 
and starts putting them on. The second guy says, 
"What are you doing?" 

He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, 
we'll jump down and make a run for it." 

The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't 
outrun a bear." 

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... 
I only have to outrun you."

+++++++++

A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the 
wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, 
sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to the ranger's horror, 
eating a fish and a bald eagle. 

The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. He was 
soon brought to trial for his crime... 

The Judge asked the man 
"Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

"Yes I do." replied the man, "but if you let me argue my case,
I'll explain what happened."

"You may proceed." 

"I got lost in the woods, and hadn't had anything real to eat 
for two weeks," the man explained. "I was so hungry, I was 
eating plants to stay alive. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle 
swooping down at the lake grabbing some fish. I thought 
'if I startled the Eagle I could maybe steal the fish.' Low and 
behold, the eagle lighted upon a nearby tree stump to eat the 
fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the 
fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, 
my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor 
little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had
happened, but figured that since I killed it I might as well eat it 
since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground." 

The judge says he will take a recess to analyse the defendant's 
testimony. 15 minutes goes by and the judge returns: 
"Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because 
you didn't intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the 
charges." 

The Judge then leans over the bench and whispers: 
"If you don't mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?" 

"Well your honour, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe 
it's a bit more tender than a California Condor but lacks the tang 
of a Spotted Owl."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe 
has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin 
woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while 
Joe checks out a deer stand.

After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a 
blood-curdling scream. 

He rushes back to Jerry and yells, 
"I thought I told you to be quiet!"

Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled 
over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing 
down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two 
chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said,

'Should we take them with us or eat them here?'

I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

============

A hunter was visiting another hunter and was given a
tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The 
visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag him?"

The host said, "That was three years ago, when I 
went hunting with my wife."

"What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter.

"My wife!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I 
don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell
you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other
direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You
know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away
from the truck...."

++++++++++

Two Polish hunters got themselves set up for a weekend of
hunting. They gathered their guns, dogs, and ammunition before
tromping around for hours with no luck. When they came out of
the woods at dusk, they looked around at all the other hunters
who were carrying braces of pheasant, quail, duck, and geese.

"Gee," said one Pole to his companion, "everyone else seems
to be doing pretty well for themselves. Whaddaya think we could
be doing wrong?"

"I dunno," said the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dogs
high enough."

+++++++++++++

 "My hobbies are huntin' and drinkin'." said Art.

"What do you hunt?" asked John.

"Somethin to drink," replied Art.

++++++++++++

A successful businessman had a meeting with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter," he said, "and to welcome
you into the family, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my
business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day 
and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted him. "I hate factories. I can't
stand all the noise."
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog.
His search ended when he found a dog that could actually
walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he
was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He
invited a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and to hunt
with him and his new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They
fired, and a duck fell. The dog immediately jumped into the
water. Amazingly, he didn't sink, but instead walked across
the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his
paws wet.

The friend saw everything but didn't say a word.

On the drive home, the hunter asked his friend, "Did you
notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded his friend. "He can't swim."

+++++++++++++++


 
R-rated Hunting Humor

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.
Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.
Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, 
but you'd better brace yourself."

++++++++++++++

The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on.

They blindfolded them carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced "Springbok." Then he felt the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .308 rifle." He was right. They brought him another skin, one that someone had in their car trunk. He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari Lion Shot with a .416 rifle. He was right again. Through the night, he proved his skills again and again, every time against a round of drinks. Finally he staggered home, drunk out of his mind, and went to sleep.

The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he had one hell of a shiner. So he said to his wife, I know I was drunk last night, but not drunk enough to get in a fight and not remember it. Where did I get this black eye?

His wife angrily replied, "I gave it to you. You got into bed and put your hand down my panties. Then you fiddled around a bit and loudly announced, "Skunk, killed with an axe!!!

**********

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said: "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear said: "Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

********

A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle. He goes 
to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. 

The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, 
"This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way 
up on that hill". 

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. 

"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and 
a naked woman running around in the house", the man replies. 

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his 
house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, 
"Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing 
if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off 
and shoot the guy's dick off". 

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, 

"You know what? I think I only need one bullet!" 

^^^^^^^^^

A young man got a license to trap furs for the winter in Alaska. 
After buying supplies in a local town he went into a nearby 
saloon. 

Approaching the bartender he asked, 
" Is there any action to be had in this town?"

"What do you mean, action," asked the bartender.

"I mean, are there any women," said the trapper.

"No, but there's always old Joe," replied the bartender.

"No thanks," said the trapper. "I don't go for that kind 
of stuff."

The next spring the trapper came back into town. After 
being snowed in for 9 months he was in a slightly 
different frame of mind. He walked into the bar and
asked, "Is there any action in town?"

"There's still old Joe," replied the bartender.

"If I were to go for old Joe," he asked, "Who would 
have to know about it?"

"Well," said the bartender, "there's you, me, old Joe 
of course, and these three guys sitting at the other 
end of the bar."

"What do we need those three guys for?" asked the 
trapper.

"To hold old Joe," replied the bartender. "He don't go 
for that kind of stuff, either."

++++++++++++++++++

A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and
the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis. Obviously, he had to see a doctor.

When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a
marvelous job repairing it. As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave
him a business card. "This is my brother's card. I'll make an
appointment for you to see him."

The guy says, "Is your brother a doctor?"

"No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

++++++++

A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go Bear hunting. He
tells his wife, "You've got three choices; you can go Bear hunting with
me, I'll do you anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna load up
the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get back.

The man returns twenty minutes later and says, "Well what's it gonna
be?"

"She say's, "There's no way I'm going Bear hunting and you're not doing
my ass so I guess it's a blowjob.

"A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says,
"Jesus, you taste like shit."

"Oh yeah," he replies, "The dog didn't want to go Bear hunting' either."

+++++

Two guys were hunting and got separated. Joe decided to take a dump, and after hanging his ass over a log, he soon fell asleep.

Meanwhile, his buddy shot a deer. While dragging it back to his rig, he
noticed his buddy asleep on the log. As a prank, he gutted the deer and
placed the pile of guts under his friend's ass. After returning to the
truck, he too was tired and took a nap.

A couple of hours later, he awoke to see Joe trundling across the field.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Joe? Looks like you seen a ghost!"

"Well, I hung my ass over a log to take a dump, and while I was asleep,
I must have shit my guts out. If it wasn't for the grace of God and a
greasy stick, I would never have gotten 'em back in."

+++++++++

Why do women prefer hunters to other men?

Three reasons:
They go deep into the bush.
They can shoot twice if they need to.
They often eat what they shoot.

+++++++++++

The new school year started and the grade school teacher wanted
some students to tell a brief story about summer vacation.
Several students eagerly raised their hands including Little
Johnny. The teacher asked Alice to tell a story.

"We took a trip to the Grand Canyon during vacation" Alice said.
"We rode donkeys down a steep trail to the bottom of the canyon,
it was fun."

The teacher asked for another volunteer, several students
eagerly raised their hands including little Johnny. She was
afraid to call on little Johnny because he swore a lot in last
years classroom. The teacher chose Fred to tell a story.

"My Dad and I went on a fishing trip way out in the country. We
stopped at a small pond, I cast my lure into the pond and caught
the biggest trout we'd ever seen! We started a campfire and
cooked the trout, it was great!" Fred reported.

"That’s nice Fred, now how about another volunteer". Several
students were waving their hands. The teacher felt sorry for
Little Johnny and so she gave him another chance.

"My Dad and I went on a deer hunting trip. We saw a huge 18
point buck in the field, my Dad aimed and shot it right in the
asshole" Little Johnny said.

The teacher was mad, "Johnny you mean rectum." she said.

"Rectum, you bet it rectum, shot his balls clean off."

++++++++

Two men were hunting and camping in the mountains, and during the night, they were attacked by Bigfoot. One of the men was able to run for his life, but the other was brutally raped.

Later, the man who had run away visited his friend in the Intensive
Care Unit of the local hospital. He said, "I'm sorry for abandoning
you like that, but I ran for my life. But tell me something," he went
on, "does it hurt?"

His friend answered, "Hurt??? Of course, it hurts!! He doesn't
write, and he never calls!"

++++

This guy was deer hunting in North Carolina. He shoots a deer, and as he
is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by this redneck Game
Warden who asks to see his hunting license. The hunter shows him the
license, and is about to leave when the Game Warden says "Not so fast,
Boy. I need to inspect the deer."

The Game Warden then reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer's butt,
pulls it out then sniffs his finger. The Game Warden gets angry then
says "Wait a minute Boy! This here ain't no North Carolina deer; this
here is a Virginia deer! You need to have a Virginia Hunting License to
hunt this deer. You got a Virginia Hunting License on you Boy?"

Well, it just so happens that the guy had been hunting in Virginia the
week before. He goes back into his wallet hand pulls out a Virginia
Hunting License. The Game Warden looks at the valid license and
disappointingly says, "Well.... OK, I guess I'll have to let you go. I
really do enjoy writing up Boys like you who hunt deer without a
license, but you look like you got everything in order. So go on; get
out of here."

The following week, the guy is hunting again. He shoots another deer and
as he is dragging it back to his truck, he gets stopped by the same Game
Warden who says "Just a minute Boy. I need to inspect the deer." He
reaches down, sticks his finger up the deer's butt, pulls it out, sniffs
his finger and says "Boy! This here is a South Carolina deer! You got a
South Carolina Hunting License?" The Hunter, somewhat surprised, said
that he had one in the truck. He goes and gets it out of the glove box,
shows it to the Game Warden, who again has to let him go.

So this goes on for the next three weeks. Each week the hunter shoots a
deer; one from Georgia, Tennessee, and West Virginia. Each time the Game
Warden stops to do the Finger Test, and each time the hunter is able to
produce the correct license.

Finally, after the West Virginia deer, the Game Warden is furious: "Boy!
You got a hunting license from every state in the south! Where the hell
are you from, anyway?"

The hunter drops his pants, bends over and says "You Tell Me!"

+++++++++

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