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Technology Humor
Technology Quotations: "Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor." Wernher von Braun "Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture." Steven Wright "Adapting to technology is a matter of confidence; one's true willingness to explore and learn is sufficient to be 'in on it.'" Andrew Niculescu "You can't make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious." Ron Burns "Men have become the tools of their tools." Henry David Thoreau "The first rule to tinkering is to save all the parts." Paul Erlich "Historical Fact: people stopped being human in 1913. That was the year Henry Ford put his cars on rollers and made his workers adopt the speed of the assembly line. At first, workers rebelled. They quit in droves, unable to accustom their bodies to the new pace of the age. Since then, however, the adaptation has been passed down: we've all inherited it to some degree, so that we plug right into joysticks and remotes, to repetitive motions of a hundred kinds." Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex "A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. " Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English writer "All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which train engineers will prevail over those which train lawyers. No nation has ever sued its way to greatness." Richard Lamm "Technology made large populations possible; large populations now make technology indispensable." Joseph Wood Krutch "When you die, your inbox will still be full." Phil Rosenberg "Man is flying too fast for a world that is round.
Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision." James Thurber "Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." Ellen Goodman "The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds." Will Rogers, 1879 - 1935 "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book." Groucho Marx "People like to imagine that because all our mechanical equipment moves so much faster, that we are thinking faster, too." Christopher Morley, writer (1890-1957) "So many people have spent a lifetime for preparing themselves for technological skills yet have spent no time training themselves on how to influence people so the technical skills make a difference." Marshall Goldsmith "Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." Unknown "Technology is anything that was invented after you were born." Alan Kay "We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run."Roy Amara, engineer, futurist (b. 1925) "Technology, like art, is a soaring exercise of the human imagination." Daniel Bell "Only a people serving an apprenticeship to nature can be trusted with machines." Alfred North Whitehead (1861-1947) "A computer is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about." Douglas Adams "The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." B. F. Skinner "The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it." Harry Emerson Fosdick "A bad workman always blames his tools." Proverb +++++ Television NBC - no body cares. -- Jay Leno My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too. -- Peter De Vries Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy. -- Richard Nixon Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' cost CBS Five hundred and Fifty grand this week. Boy, what a tough week for the network. First, the false documents on President Bush's National Guard record and now this. CBS says they have learned their lesson: no more trying to expose boobs. -- Bill Maher Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel." -- Anonymous On cable TV they have a weather channel - 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window. -- Dan Spencer I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. -- Marty Feldman The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest. -- Jack Dee (on filming in Siberia, Mail On Sunday, 8 Dec 2002) I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. -- Groucho Marx ++++ Want more jokes? Click on the banners and visit our sponsors! They pay the rent.
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Warning, the remaining Technology Humor on this page is R-Rated. Do not continue reading them if you think that you might be offended in any way. You have been warned!
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